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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

The post I've been dreading to write...

We received news last Tuesday that Kevin's dwell time is being "involuntarily waived" and he will be deploying to Afghanistan in a few weeks for 9 months. 
I went through all stages of change in the first 24 hours.  My eyes were nearly swollen shut last Wednesday.  My plans are to stay here in Washington during this deployment.  I know some don't understand and wonder why I wouldn't want to move home and my answer is: STABILITY. 
Stability is something that isn't always bountiful as a military family but we find stability where we can.  Stability for my my sake means staying put even if I may be more lonely than if I would have gone to Illinois or Minnesota. I'm tired of traveling.  I just want to stay put for a while.  I appreciate so much family coming to visit us.  We do get home when we can and it may not be as often as some would like but we do what we can when we can and what is best for us. 
In all honesty, I'm just tired right now but no means defeated.  I know we WILL get through this.  God has a plan for us.  It's hard to understand what it might be right now, but I find comfort in knowing that He is in control.  So I ask that you keep us in your prayers.  I ask that you keep Kevin in your thoughts and prayers as he is taking it extra hard this time. Pray for his safety and a safe return to us next fall.    I also ask that you pray for me and the girls. This will be an adjustment this time around.  They will notice more this time than last that he is not here.  They will most likely deal with some separation anxiety.  It's going to be a whole new experience for us even though we've been through it before.  Pray for my strength and for me to ask for help when I need it.  Pray for family and friends to be understanding and supportive even if it is from a distance.  Remember it doesn't matter where I am living.  I just want him to be here.  I'll be missing him no matter where I'm at. 
Also, please don't say to be "You signed up for this life"  =  I am very aware of that but it still doesn't make these times easier. 
I will keep you all posted as time goes on and I know that I can lean on you all for support! 
-Kristen 

10 comments:

Annette

Kristen, I don't blame you at all for staying in Washington. I can't say that I wasn't hoping that you'd maybe come back to IL so we could hang out some this time, though! :) Anyway, you are definitely in my prayers. I know you'll all make it through just fine. If you need my help, just let me know what you need, and I'll do my best to do it for you! :)

Molly Zientarski

Praying you find the courage within to be strong for Kevin, the girls and most importantly, yourself!

npshak@gmail.com

My heart goes out to you Kristen. I complain about Kiel being gone over night...I can't even imagine. I hope you can enjoy the next few weeks with him to the fullest before he leaves. Will be thinking of you, Kevin, & the girls!

Bridget

My heart breaks for your Kris! Will be praying for each of your hearts as you transition and I completely understand you wanting to stay put. May the time go as quickly as possible for you when he is gone. Love you friend!

Rebecca

Ahhh Kristen! You will make it through :) I just know it. It is difficult, especially when the girls are older this time around, but they will make it too! There are some awesome things that can make it better. My friend got her girls teddy bears with their Dad's voice recorded inside. That way when the girls missed him, they could squeeze their bear and hear daddy's voice :) If you need a nice vacation while he is gone, you can totally come down here! I think you are smart to stay in Washington while he is gone. It is difficult to be so far away from family, but the stability for the girls, and you, will ultimately be good!!!

Love you guys!

Lindsey

I understand your need for a sense of stability during a time when you feel like you have so little control. You are making a hard decision but it is best for your family. I want to thank you and your husband for the scarifies you make for this country. I admire your strength.

The Breens

You are one strong mama! Keep plugging along! Praying for Kevin and your family.

Livin' La Vida Lanphear

Sorry to hear about the long deployment. That stinks! If we can do anything, let us know.

Taryn

I don't have any other words than This sucks...it really really sucks. I'll be thinking of you guys!

Julie S.

I am so sad to hear this, but I think it is SO great the you are staying in Washington. Stability is something that like you said, is hard in the military, but I think the girls will appreciate that even more. Will be praying!